These tips are for learning how to act around women, and can teach you what to do to make women want you. Learn how to behave around women in this section, and watch the positive changes begin.
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Conversation Tips - Learn the necessary conversation techniques and become great at talking to women. Learn what to say to women and how to say it in many critical situations.
Flirting Tips - It is vital for any player to know how to flirt with women if he wants to pick them up. Learn all of the best flirting tips to improve your skills at flirting with women.
Inner Game Tips - Learn tips that will teach you how to be confident around women and how to believe in yourself. An often overlooked, yet very important aspect of the game.
Outer Game Tips - These tips are for learning how to act around women, and can teach you what to do to make women want you. Learn how to behave around women.
Lifestyle Tips - The way you live your everyday life has a greater impact on relationships with women than you think! These tips will help you lead a lifestyle women are drawn to.
Dating Tips - Use this section to master the art of dealing with relationships, how to handle the first date, where to go on a date, and many other great strategies for dating women.
User Submitted Tips - These tips have been sent in by players wanting to add their knowledge to the Becomeaplayer.com resource. Don't forget to send in your own tips as well!
The Outer Game Tips...
Calibration and Value
A great way to develop a great calibration is to be observant. I've seen many people head straight into a bar/club/daytime without having developed a comfort for the environment. So a great exercise to do is to grab a few friends, take them out to these different "environments" and analyze the social factors that are playing. Identify 3 things: 1) Who has a high observable social value in this environment? 2) How could you develop that same vibe/social value? 3) Are you having fun here? and are the "competition" not having a good time as its obvious they have an agenda to "pickup" Do this little exercise as you enter each new environment and it'll calibrate your own game wherever you go. Many people suffer from approach anxiety as they also have no adjusted and developed and inner comfort the environment. So there is nothing wrong with approaching with the intent of just getting practice, so go out and approach mixed groups consistently with no game plan. Get shot down/numbers, whatever comes along it's all for your calibration to get used the environment. Once you are used to the environment with a natural comfort it's time too apply that game you've been learning :) - pHUiii
My Time Constraint
I find that the time constraint "Hey you seem like a fun chick, I have some friends waiting on me so I have to go but put your number in my phone and we can hang out sometime" (with a smile on your face and your body turned away from her, but facing her) Works really well for getting numbers! I get at least 4 or 5 numbers a day like this, but the other day a chick said "What No, boy i have a man" and I choked and said okay and walked away. So I'm still learning! - EdWEEZY
How to get free drinks
It's simple: tell them you don't drink and look very hesitant to try out your "first" beer :) People always have that urge to break someone's "alcohol virginity" once they find out you have never been under the influence of alcohol and will go out of their way to try to make you drunk, not worrying about their wallets. Note that you can only do this to people that don't know you well (yet) though. - VoodooChild
Beware of over-gaming
Over-Gaming is a problem that not many men are even aware of. You can’t learn how to drive a car perfectly from just reading the drivers manual and you can’t learn to interact with women perfectly by having just tons of knowledge and techniques. One of the biggest things that guys do wrong is that they fail to calibrate their game to different situations. You don’t have to be a cocky machine every second that you are around an attractive girl and you don’t have to have a witty response for everything. It’s okay to just have normal conversations sometimes! Too many guys get carried away with being cocky and funny that they become social robots. The key to attracting and seducing women is balance. When you combine your cocky and funny responses and techniques with being a normal, fun guy, you will have achieved the perfect balance. - GoinPhoenix
Having No Way As Way
When a guy first thinks about opening somebody for the first time. The first thing that comes into his mind when he sees the girl is a jump of textbook crap and lines. Well when they attempt to do this they either bore the girl to death or blown out of the water. Why does this happen you ask? its because guys followed a set way that's fought to open somebody. And the truth is theres no real way or textbook line you can use to open a girl. You can say some of the dumbest shit or the most suave line ever and it wont matter to them as long as you have the balls to go up to them and actually initiate the conversation. So in truth theres no real way to open a girl or a set way to do it. - Jerdo
Catch and Release
Pretty simple, space builds attraction. It shows you aren't clingy, it displays confidence, and it gives her comfort. You can do this at a mall, at a club, even at a bar. The way you achieve the greatest level of attraction through the art of catch and release, is by leaving when tension is at its peak. This tension could be high sexual tension or it could be the peak of your interaction. It doesn't matter. What matters is you release when you are at your absolute best. When you leave you TOI, this shows her that she isn't the world entire to you. This shows her that you can live your life without her and that you aren't a top priority. This also displays confidence in you. It does it by showing her that you have your own world and your own priorities and you won't let a girl change that. Lastly, it gives her comfort/discomfort depending on the way you look at it. If shes having a great time and you leave it might elevate your attraction levels to unprecedented levels due to her comfort with you. If shes already seen your value, it could also put her in a discomfort zone which really is just another way of saying your value is that much higher than hers. - Wood
The Unattainable
While being friends is definitely the last thing you want to do with a TOI, its also a good way to build attraction through the backdoor. Lets say shes dating some other guy or shes a bartender whose Value obviously is different from other women. She could even know about your game etc. This is where you work at chipping away her defenses. You can do this by raising your value in her eyes and making it clear you don't want to game her. So basically you game women in front of her. You make fun of how you treat some women and you do jerk things and laugh together about it. You talk to her about your own adventures while explicitly stating shes a good friend. You even listen to her own stories and if you have to fake real genuine interest in the things she says. You make it understood that you have no attraction at all with her though. In the meantime, you throw constant aggressive kino her way. Find any excuse for it and act on it more so than you would with a normal target you are gaming. All of this together will confuse the shit out of her. Maybe one night of drinks is all it takes for her to jump on you or for you to make a move. You are basically providing a comfort zone for her while also showing how awesome you are while being completely 'unattainable'. Now instead of her being out of reach, you take her power and you yourself are out of reach. - Wood
Warpigs
I actually hated the term originally. But yes, Warpigs are the best way to explain what they are. They are the runt of the litter. The fat girl of the group, the one with the back acne and mustache. They are also you TOI's best friend. You can see why. Girls are all insecure. They all succumb to using a 'best friend' who is clearly below their value, as a crutch to feel good about themselves. These Warpigs are also potentially your worst enemy. In seconds, they can see your intentions and they can reduce your value faster than vomiting in front of a whole room. And Yet, they serve a purpose. They are the ones who are almost willingly there to give approval. Since they are clearly undesirable and unattractive to even the lowest forms of man, they are eager to talk and even more excited at the mere thought of interacting with a man of your stature. This is why Warpigs need to handled like a little kid you're giving candy to. You give him a lollypop pat him on the head and then continue talking to the 'adults'. You don't give them anymore, because they'll make a mess and throw a tantrum, but you give them enough that they piss themselves with joy and tell everyone in the world how great a person you are. The end. You just bagged a hottie. - Wood
The Approach
As long as you have a smile on your face you can approach her any way you want: Straight on.. Diagonally.... backwards.. even zig-zagging while doing Navy-Seal summersaults and yelling "hoo-ah!" (though I wouldn't recommend it). Most guys worry too much about the minor details. Look her in the eyes, smile playfully, and just get over there to talk to her. How you get there is really your call. She's not going bust out a protractor and say "sorry, according to my calculations your approach angle was 37 degrees wrong". She's usually too busy thinking about herself in that moment. But girls do notice "eye language" cues.. If your eyes are darting around nervously, you'll come off as insecure. Look her in the eyes, and smile. It won't kill ya! As that goofy guy in Adam Sandler movies usually says "You can DO it!" Besides, girls like guys with good eye-contact. - Player87
The approach
Mastering the approach is a crucial component in the arsenal of a PUA. It is important to remember that it is not about the words you use, but rather the attitude and mind frame you have. Even with the best lines and techniques at your disposal without the right mindset they will be ineffective. It is not about the words you use or the actions you do, it is how you say the words and how you perform the actions. Always approach with confidence, and a positive attitude; without these traits women will see through the "front" you are putting up. Also, relax and have fun, and soon you will be approaching any women with ease. - by Baller21
The alpha presence
Let it be known when you walk in a room. Take up space and have confident but comfortable body language. Speak with a strong articulate voice. Have good posture and make slow deliberate movements. Remember to be comfortable with any situation at all times. When your comfortable around a woman she becomes comfortable as well. Women are naturally attracted to the alpha and once you develop this type of presence, you will be amazed at the different responses you get from women. - by Lady Killa
Gaming virgins!
The issue about Virgins is that their ASD (anti-slut-defense) is set to automatic, so you have to first build a lot rapport and comfort which will lead to trust, but how do you do this? First thing you do is run your normal game by creating interest and attraction. Once you have created attraction you have to build a lot rapport by creating bonds, such as sharing similarities and kino to increase comfort. Once you have rapport you have to escalate kino and teasing slowly and progressively, following the push pull formula. If you push too much or pull too much you risk over-complimenting or over-negging. Balance your push and pulls and create rapport and she will give it up 100%! - Player87
If you love it...
... let it go. One of the biggest traps new players get sucked into is getting too attached to a set once they make progress. Male-pattern tunnel vision. As a PUA, you must always be willing to leave a set, no matter what your progress with them when the situation calls for it. Here's something you can do to build your non-stick layer: Go up to a few sets and open them until one receives you very openly. Flirt unforgivably, and raise the hell out of that kino. Then, right before you would close. Just leave. "Sorry, I have to go", and walk away. If you can do that, then you've reached a major milestone. - Moose
Staying in control
One of the fundamental things in seduction that will either lead to your success or failure with any given girl is how well you maintain control of your interactions. One way you could react to "I'm bored!", "What's up?" and "Entertain me" is by responding with something funny in an attempt to do exactly what she says and entertain her. But wait a minute: she's telling you that she's bored and you obey her command and entertain her- doesn't that mean that she's in control of the conversation? So... we need to think of a way we can respond to that that keeps you in control of the conversation while still letting her enjoy the interaction. How we can do that is by re-framing her command and redirecting the conversation the direction you want. How I personally like to do that most of the time is by negging her then totally changing the flow of the conversation. My entire idea of the purpose of negs is that they exist for you to remind the girl what the power balance between the two of you is and that you're the alpha who controls how things happen in this world. This sort of situation is exactly the right place to employ them, since you need to correct her mistaken belief that she controls the conversation (btw I had a girlfriend a while back who used to do this all the time too and this can be actually quite fun if you turn these sort of statements around on her). - Goldi
The peacock open
In short, Peacocking is wearing something that stands out and grabs attention (e.g. Bright T-shirt, Shiny belt buckle, Cowboy hat, etc.). A lot of people peacock but don't utilize it for seduction. A lot of times (with the exception of night game) a woman will not go further than saying "I like your shirt." In response to such a comment simply say "Thanks, I like your ______" and initiate kino, then ask for her name and begin flirting away. - by Anubis
Balancing cocky & funny
Balance, the way to balance your cockiness is to be more funny. That will offset the negative citations of your high confidence levels and allow you to avoid giving off a self-centered vibe. However, you don't even have to toss on more funny to balance the cocky, you can just tone down the cocky and try to be more friendly. When you're really cocky, girls tend to either think you're an asshole, or they figure that you are interested in getting in their pants. Step it down a bit and use a bit of that nice guy inside you, which may or may not have been the reason you ended up here to begin with. We tend to overcompensate for our niceness by being very confident and cocky, but then you realize you overshot your mark and have to try again a little lower. I got called a cocky asshole for YEARS, I mean from the time I was like 8 till I was 20. By being mildly friendly, you can slip in the cracks and then once you get in close, you can strike without them seeing it coming and they are thoroughly surprised, but in a good way. I'm not saying to go overboard and be her friend, because we know you just end up with LJBF and that's no good either. Happy medium is the key to not just pick up, but all of life. - Player87
Action = Success
The key to success is ACTION. Instead of trying to figure out the best way to approach, then start doing it, which is useless. There is no 'secret formula' that loosens the pants of a woman! Seduction is a learning process, every approach leads to an outcome that you benefit from; success or feedback. If you succeed, bear in mind what you've done well in the approach. If not, you have gained experience and think where things may gone wrong, and implement this acquired knowledge into your next approach. Simple isn't it? - Player87
Expand your playing field
Always be on the lookout for women wherever you are, some of the most unusual places may just turn out to be the best in terms of places where you can find single women. Bars, clubs and parties will always guarantee that you will pick up a girl if you have enough game and try hard enough... but sometimes places like supermarkets, laundromats, parks and beaches can prove to be even easier places to be successful. Why? You have much less competition, sometimes none... plus women tend to go into "bitch mode" a lot faster when they are situations where they know that many men will be hitting on them... so it's much better to approach them in other situations where they will most likely have let their guard down. Some people may try to tell you that in certain places you simply can not pick up girls... but they are wrong. I can tell you from my own personal experiences that even though some places may be better than others... no areas are "off limits" or impossible, anyone who tells you differently probably just didn't have enough game when they tried. Experiment and try to approach girls everywhere you go, you may even get lucky and find a gold mine of hot babes with their defenses down ready to be pulled!
What makes an alpha
Girls are attract to alpha males, we all know this. It's built into them just like it is built into us to stare at a nice rack or ass... we simply can't help it, and neither can they. Right now I am about to explain the #1 thing that separates the alpha males from the rest of the pack... and no it is NOT confidence. You can have so much confidence that it seeps out of your ears but will still always be out done by someone that has this quality: Initiative. Initiative means that you are always first, and make sure of it. You are the first to make a move in all situations: You walk straight up to a girl and initiate a conversation with her instead of waiting for her to come to you, you never walk behind other people when walking in a group... you stay in the front, you are the first to go when participate in activities like sports, you always go for the first kiss without asking, you always make the first move towards sex and always lead the girl to the bedroom, you are always the one who drives when you go out with others. Get the idea? Many guys have confidence, but not all of them can be called true alpha males because they lack initiative... and that is the trait that defines a true alpha male. At all times you should guarantee that you have the initiative, especially when you are in the presence of the opposite sex... even fight for it if you have to.
Want a dime piece?
Do you know what a perfect 10 is? Is the best looking girl you've ever seen one? Maybe, but maybe not... because for a girl to be a dime piece they need to have more than just looks. I'm talking gorgeous, intelligent, trustworthy and down to earth... a QUALITY girl. That is what you really want right, a girl that is beautiful as well as secure in herself that will never cheat on you or embarrass you in front of people by making ditsy comments? Sure you do. However, if you want to attract a quality girl... you will need to be able to show them that you are a quality guy as well, and the most important step in becoming a quality guy is have a skill. You need to be good at something, and I'm not talking about your job, I'm talking about an interesting thing that you do and are good at that adds substance to your character and makes you seem like a more interesting and motivated person. Don't get me wrong, by using what you learn from this web site you can easily pick up hot girls, and even get a really beautiful as you girlfriend... but on looks alone a girl can only rank at about an 8, maybe a 9. If you really want to get a "dream girl" you've got to add that extra something to your life that makes you stand a step above all of the other guys that are good at getting girls... and that extra something is exactly what all of those perfect 10's are looking for. They want something more because they can literally pick any guy they want and have him, so it's only natural for them to try and find the best. You can choose any skill that you want, as long as it is something that is interesting and impressive... if you love music anything in that field works perfectly. You can also learn how to read palms, women absolutely love when a guy knows how to do that. Can you draw or paint fairly well? Being an artist is another great skill that women admire. Be creative and have fun, you don't even need to be the best at the skill you choose, as long as you become good enough to show the ladies that you are dedicated to it and actually enjoy it.
Your social value
If you have been studying seduction material for a while chances are you've heard the term "Social Proof" before. The most simple way to describe social proof is that it is your "local fame" within your network of friends and/or acquaintances, otherwise referred to as your "circle". When you are trying to determine how much social proof you have, it is important to understand that it is NOT the amount of fame that you have, but rather the amount of fame that you have compared to the other people within your circle. Are you the leader or a follower? Do people favor your opinion over those of others? Are you the first person that people call when they want to find out what is going down during the weekend? Do you get a high level of respect from those around you? These are all questions that you
need to ask yourself to determine your overall social proof... and if you answered negatively to any of the above then you will need to do some work on improving your value within your circle. Men that have the most social proof within their group are always viewed as the most powerful, and women find that power to be very attractive. This is why men that are viewed of the leader typically have their pick of the women that are in the group as well as any new ones that are introduced in the future. Build up your social value and the women will automatically want you instead of any of your friends, and you will also gain a higher level of respect from everyone you encounter.
Baby steps
Ok, I'm assuming that you've already committed yourself to learning everything that this web site has to offer so that you will eventually know every single trick to picking up women... congratulations. However, now is the time when you need to recommit yourself to something totally different, and ultimately much more important : Using what you know! You may now know 1001 seduction techniques, but all of your studying will be in vain unless you make the conversion and turn them into seduction SKILLS. Simply knowing what you are doing is less than half of the battle, actually being able to do it is the hard part... and the only way to get to that point it by honing your skills with some good ol' fashioned practice. One of the most common mistakes that guys who come to this web site make is believing that they must learn EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING, this is totally wrong. Have you ever heard the saying "Don't bite off more than you can chew"? It applies here. If you pack your head full of as much as you can and then try to use it, you will only succeed in confusing yourself and adding to your failure. You do not need to know everything in order to pick up one girl, if you choose one simple strategy that you like it will be all you'll need at first... then when you master that you can move on to others. If you practice in this fashion eventually you will know so much AND be good at it as well, that you will be able to switch up your technique at the drop of a dime if what you are doing seems to be not working. Baby steps my young players, baby steps.
Pay her no mind, she'll love you for it!
Hot woman are used to being showered with attention from men. It had been happening to them since they were infants : Age 0 - "Aww, she's soooo precious!", Age 4 - "She's just beautiful", Age 10 - "She's gonna be a hotty!", Age 18 - "Damn, she IS a hotty!". They have heard those things thier entire lives, and now that they have grown into women it's so programmed into thier minds that they barely even care when you walk up and say "Your beautiful". However, they DO care when you don't do that... and even act like they don't impress you at all. Treating beautiful women like they are flawed is the ONLY way to attract them.
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