When & How To Ask Her To Meet In Person
Very shortly after making contact with her, and you don't.
A lot of failures with hitting it off properly with a girl online can be attributed to not asking a girl out correctly. This particular aspect of online dating is more complicated than you'd think.
Allow me to elaborate.
It appears the common belief is that you should take your time while courting someone online. This couldn't be further from the truth! I did this for a very long time and I can't tell you how many dates it lost me. You go for that invitation the moment you decide you like her and that she's at least worth the time to meet! Have a idea of what you want to do with her drawn up ahead of time, and shoot.
Let me share with you something that took me TWO YEARS to learn: women don't want to spend time online speaking with you. They really don't. Most of them aren't as concerned about the whole meeting strangers online thing as you think, and like most things, how they feel with you is very much up to how you act around them. Waiting a long time to mention meeting because you want her to feel safe is akin to saying "Hey, buckle up, I might get into a horrible car accident resulting in untold carnage" before a girl gets in your car. She may have considered that, but she doesn't want to hear it. The quicker you invite her out, the better. Since I've stood behind this maxim my online dating success has tripled.
Also, don't ASK her out, TELL her to go out with you. Try it, you'll be amazed at the results. "Maybe" and "I'm sorta busy" will turn into "OK".
Repeat after me: “Hey, you're pretty cool. I've been wanting to play racquetball and have been eyeballing the new recreation center they just built. Let's go play.”
But before you say that, there's a very useful disclaimer you MUST USE! Pay attention! This is important. This one line will prove useful beyond words. It's magic.
Repeat after me: "Hey, I know we're both using an online dating site, but I'm really personable guy, and over the internet is no way to get to know someone..."
Followed by: “You're pretty cool. I've been wanting to play racquetball and have been eyeballing the new recreation center they just built. Let's go play.”
What does this line do? For starters, in installs a sense of well, sense. Good common sense. Talking to someone online really is no way of getting to know someone. I've had nothing but agreements from girls here. If it didn't occur to them before they signed up onto a dating site, it will occur to them now. No matter how long you speak to someone, the chances of them actually being a 67 year old halfbreed between a monkey and a man as well as a sea pirate as opposed a 23 year old graduate and surfer does not change one bit.
Time will only give a woman more time to start having doubts about who you are, it will rarely increase trust and a desire to meet you. In online dating, the clock is always working against you.
If you feel this is a bit too bold, or that a girl might be especially wary of meeting someone online, tell her to meet you at a public cafe or bookstore, and afterwards you'll continue your date elsewhere. Or sometimes it helps to end the "Personable Guy" line with a drop of your phone number. Tell her to call you. After you spend a few minutes on the phone (whatever feels right to you), then invite her out. Maybe even revise the "Personable Guy" line if it feels right to you. "Like I said, I'm a personable guy. I really don't care for hiding behind a computer or phone all day. I like to get out, so let's go out."
What activity should the invitation include?
The same old rules for normal dates apply here as well, but for the first date make sure you're inviting her out to something that can take place on any day of the week and is available throughout the day and perhaps night. A lot of girls do online dating because they have tight schedules, so while they may be impressed by your idea of taking her out to a Comedy Hypnosis dinner show, she will ultimately turn the idea down which leaves you fishing for new ideas on the spot. Have a few ideas in mind, and use which one you like best.
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