Having an attractive and active lifestyle is not only important for your mental and physical health, but also can have a huge impact on how women treat you. Use the tips below to improve the way that you live.
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Conversation Tips - Learn the necessary conversation techniques and become great at talking to women. Learn what to say to women and how to say it in many critical situations.
Flirting Tips - It is vital for any player to know how to flirt with women if he wants to pick them up. Learn all of the best flirting tips to improve your skills at flirting with women.
Inner Game Tips - Learn tips that will teach you how to be confident around women and how to believe in yourself. An often overlooked, yet very important aspect of the game.
Outer Game Tips - These tips are for learning how to act around women, and can teach you what to do to make women want you. Learn how to behave around women.
Lifestyle Tips - The way you live your everyday life has a greater impact on relationships with women than you think! These tips will help you lead a lifestyle women are drawn to.
Dating Tips - Use this section to master the art of dealing with relationships, how to handle the first date, where to go on a date, and many other great strategies for dating women.
User Submitted Tips - These tips have been sent in by players wanting to add their knowledge to the Becomeaplayer.com resource. Don't forget to send in your own tips as well!
The Lifestyle Tips...
The Importance Of Being Busy
Chicks don't like boring guys. It's a fact. They want a man to be interesting, fun, and unpredictable. But yet, I see so many of my dude friends replying to TOI text message with this: Hot Chick: "Hey, what's up?" Average Dude: "Nothing much, you?" FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! Replying with the phrases "nothing much", "just chilling", or "I'm bored" is the single dumbest thing you can say back to a TOI. You might as well just say; "I am boring. My entire life is boring. I have nothing better to do..." If you truly want to get a girl, you've got to be interesting (or at least appear interesting). It doesn't matter if you're just sitting on your couch eating cheetos at 2:00am! Always give the impression you are busy or doing something fun and interesting. More Interesting = More Different = More Valuable = Getting Laid. I just thought I might crack an egg of knowledge on the AFCs that keep saying "nothing much"... It just kills me! - Vblacke
Everyday Thang
Everyone should Floss everyday. You will feel cleaner and you will have less bad breath, plus it reduces heart disease haha. Also start learning how to use REVERSE psychology. It works like a charm on women... I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS! Sometimes you have to gamble, act cocky, take chances, and blow girls Off (And hope they come back haha). We all win Some and we all lose some, but just remember the "Boomerang Effect"; If you throw it out just right, it should come back just right. - Devil.5
Never let it slip
One common thing new starters to the game tend to do it put on the outer game (body language, eye contact etc..) when they are around women, yet when they are alone or around old friends, go back into their shell. If your going to change your life, you have to do that. CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Rid yourself of your old habits and keep up your new found confidence and body language. This stuff doesn't just help you with women, but all aspects of life, so never let it slip. - YoungCasual
Tips on how to pick up girls
If you’ve always been curious about the world of seduction and you’ve seen one or more dating gurus spouting tips on how to pick up girls, you might be thinking of a way to jump start your own seduction plans and be the hot guy that any girl would want to date. The fastest way to learn how seduction works is to read some tips on how to pick up girls. There are more seduction experts than you can imagine, and almost all of these guys have been out there promoting their dating programs and classes. Here’s the deep truth about listening to pick up advice: you have to take everything with a grain of salt. This means you have to test the tip a few times, find out if it works for you and ditch it if it doesn’t. You need to make every tip, every opener and every conversation routine your own before you can start seducing women. Having said that, here are some tips on how to pick up girls you can test today: Make saying hello a habit, and I don’t just mean to women you want to date. Women are everywhere: in the gym, in the supermarket and in the cafeteria. If you start this habit now, you will feel more comfortable around women when it’s time to go on your pick up mode. Being social is habit-forming, and it’s a habit you want to start ASAP. Don’t go for the lay, go for the interaction. You know you want to get laid, but a sure way of not getting some is thinking about the results first before approaching women. Body language is a funny thing, and women are more intuitive than we think. If you think of scoring when you approach, everything that you say and do will reflect your thoughts. - Flirt Mastery
Dry Spells
I went through some periods where I couldn't get laid. Happens to everyone in the beginning. I don't think I really have this anymore, but that's because I found a way to kind of go around it. Its no big secret. Cougars. Haha, I mean I pretty much had to write about them. You don't necessarily have to jump on women in their 30's or 40's, but I do. I mean, sometimes things just aren't working out in your favor. Maybe the town isn't treating you so well. The point I'm trying to make here is, don't let age be a factor. Don't turn down opportunity. The tip here is, older woman provide plenty of experience and they tend to like short term flings... In English. They just want to get laid. So next time you're thinking to yourself, wtf do I have to do to get some poon around here? Just look around, open your eyes, and talk to some older women. Lie about your age if you can handle that, or don't and see what happens. I personally believe lying takes you places. Its up to you. - Wood
Lasting Longer
I had trouble lasting long in bed. One chick I was dating for awhile made me bust after just a minute of sex. Now this is very humiliating for anyone. It doesn't satisfy the girl and it sure as hell isn't going to satisfy you unless you're Ace Ventura going to quantity over quality. Way I beat this is by asking around for tips. There are two ways that helped me overcome this problem. First, relax your muscle. I believe it is called the Keger muscle. Keep it relaxed and fight the urge to tighten it even though it can get pretty tough to. Keger exercises really are a pain and I bet most people don't follow through with it. So just keep it relaxed and focus on tip number 2. Think of your favorite sport and your team's favorite athlete. Lets say its the NYJ and its quarterback Mark Sanchez. Think about the stats he put up in a game that you remember. Most likely he threw about 3 picks and completed just barely 50% of his passes. Keep saying in your mind the number of completions vs incompletions and int/td ratio. Say his longest pass and keep doing this cycle. By doing this it keeps your mind busy and in turn it relaxes your muscle in the process. Combined, these two will let you last as long as you want to last. - Wood
The PUA's Field Kit
Showering is obvious as well as keeping neat (hair, nails, weight), but lets point out some gear you must have in order to exploit as much opportunity as possible: Cologne - If it doesn't act as an automatic opener, it'll help in conversation when she cant resist the urge to ask what it is. Clean shoes - They always notice, they just never say anything. Watch - If someone asks the time, who do you think looks better? The guy next to you fumbling for his phone or the guy casually looking at his sleek watch. Wallet - Wtf are you doing with a money clip if your name isn't Jay-Z? Belt - Make it match your shoes, same reason as your shoes. Lighter - Maybe you don't smoke. But you sure as hell better go outside and smoke. Never pass up a shot for Isolation! Good for opening too! Your keys! - Don't EVER ruin your night by coming back to your place to find out you're locked out! Trust me, they do NOT put out on your rooftop when its only 40 degrees out. - Wood
Learning VS. Imitating
This is the most important aspect of improving your game. We have all, at some point in our lives, imitated someone who we strived to be like. Its only natural. We want to be like them so we do thing and say things we perceive as effective or cool. This isn't all that wrong, but when most people start out they tend to just ask specific questions. They ask, what should I say here? What should I do here? They need a response for every action or situation. This too is something we all experience at some point. This is also a very bad way to go about learning. When you do this, its merely imitating and copying. When you do this, you might yield results but you'll show no progress. This is very dangerous and will regress your game. The point is you need to learn on your own. You need to stop yourself from imitating others and create your own personality and your own version of the game. If you don't, you'll never be the PUA you strive to be. - Wood
Social exchange principle
Personalities are molded based on the experiences of a person's life. Therefore, the type of people that you are friends with and socialize with have a great influence on you. Many men have friends that are simply negative people, and are not enjoyable for anyone to be around. Whether you like it or not (or even realize it), negative people are an enormous drain on your personality and attitude. Instead of fighting against the current, make the Social Exchange Principle work for you. Make friends with the type of person that you strive to be, and their positive traits will rub off on you. Attitudes and behaviors are contagious. If you want your life to be filled with happiness, make sure your friends enrich your life, not harm your progress. - by GoinPhoenix
My philosophy of being a player
I believe that being a player makes you a better person and gives you the ability to be a man with a pair of balls in a wussified world. I believe that being a player defines your character and shapes who you are and lets yourself shine to others and the women around you. I believe that you will stand out from the crowd,and also not only make the crowd but make everyone want to be you, and follow your lead. I believe that you can take any boring situation and turn it into a party. I believe that any woman you want will be in your grasp, no matter if she is Meagan Fox to the Playboy bunny with Hugh Heffner. I believe that you will rock the world of your girl so hard that she will never leave you and will be there regardless if your having sex with her or not. I believe this and so much more. - Jerdo
Be special
Do you want to be the guy everybody wants to get along with? Do you want to be the one that every woman desires to be with? The method is simple: Be special. You have to be special to become a true alpha male. If women think that you are boring like most men, then they will never want to sleep with you. Being special is not that hard, you just have to be good at something that people love. For example, I have been a professional magician, the best dresser at parties, drummer of a band, the best dancer at clubs, fun photographer, and main singer at a bar. Now, start to evolve yourself. Practice what you like to do and be the best. - DeviloAngel
Keep busy
Now that you're changing your life for the better, you should always keep yourself busy. Not just because a busy man with an action packed life is attractive to women, but because you can be out there meeting new people, expanding your social circle and doing something meaningful and worthwhile. You aren't going to meet new people if you're stuck in your house playing x-box or watching movies. - YoungCasual
Pimp my wall
I was recently asked by one of our regular site visitors to post something about how to set up your house/room correctly. Aside from furniture which can be expensive, artwork and posters are an affordable yet effective alternative to spicing up your living space, because the first thing that women will notice in your place is what you have on the walls. If they see something stupid or immature it will lower your chances of her sticking around long enough for much to happen, or even worse she will see nothing at all and figure that you are either broke or have no sense of style. When choosing what to put on your wall, it's very important to pick items that will attract interest and can be possibly used to start a conversation. Things to avoid are posters displaying your favorite music artists or movie stars, because this may bring up a conflict of interest if the girl that you've brought home likes other types of music or movies. Don't get me wrong, debate can be a good thing, but pure interest will always beat it. Your ultimate goal is getting her to believe that your decorations are interesting, and thus in turn believe you to be equally intriguing. With that in mind, stick to artwork/posters that can be considered neutral in most cases, but still cool and interesting.
Get your swole on
Need confidence? One of the best ways to get confidence is something that men have been doing forever, and if you don't already do it I know you've thought about it... many times. What am I talking about? Lifting weights! Training you body on a regular basis can be very beneficial to your overall health as well as give you a huge boost in confidence because you will FEEL more attractive as well as BE more attractive... and feeling attractive is one of the most important things you need to be a real player. You have to know that you are the man and that the ladies want you, because this confidence is the type that sticks out like a sore thumb and everyone notices. You don't even need to exercise hard or lift heavy, every little bit that you do will be noticeable. If you are a guy that is naturally slim (like me) your muscles will pop right out and look huge in no time because we have very little body fat to hide all of the "cuts" that toned muscles produce... giving us a great looking body with minimum work involved. If you are overweight you may need to train harder for your muscles to really be seen because at first they will be "hidden" under the excess fat that you have, but each time you work out you will be burning that fat and slimming down... which is something you need to do anyway if you want to keep in shape. I see no real reason for any man that is in good health to not be lifting weights (unless you have a medical condition that restricts the exercise that you can do) and the only reason why you would not be doing this is because you are lazy. Women don't like lazy men, so get up, get out and get the body you always wanted! Also, FYI... I only lift 3 days a week for less than 20 minutes each session and have a great body that women love and always compliment me on, so if you think it requires a ton of work... think again.
Shaving the right way
Ready for the best advice on shaving that you will ever get? To get the best possible shave and look as good as possible you only need four things : Regular 3-blade razor (Mach 3 type), straight blade razor (the kind barber's use), a handheld mirror and warm water. Forget about electric razors, they will never be able to invent an electric razor that will be able to perform as well as a blade... plus they are way too expensive for the quality of shave you get from them. Forget about shaving cream, it does not do anything besides for give you razor burn, shaving creams are made by the same companies that sell those "Get rid of razor bumps" creams and lotions... it's just another way to get money out of your pocket. I never use shaving cream and never get razor burn... ever. Warm water moisturizes your skin well enough to get a great shave, and when I say warm I mean HOT, you need it really hot in order to open up your pores and soften your facial hair enough to be shaved easily. Ok now on to the process... the first step it to drench your entire face in warm water, then get out your Mach 3 and completely shave all of the areas that are not near any facial hair that you will be keeping. For example, if you have a goatee then you want to shave almost near it with the Mach 3, but not too close because that will be done with the straight blade. Do the same thing for your sideburns... get close but not too close so you can shape them with the other blade. Always shave with the grain, never against it (this means shave down, not up)
and when you are finished with the Mach 3 put it down and grab your straight blade and handheld mirror. You need the handheld mirror so you can hold it beside your head and use it along with the mirror on the wall to get a perfect profile view (side view) of your head in order to get your sideburns or beard lined up perfectly... if you don't do it like this you will rarely get it perfect looking. Now use the straight blade to shape the edges of your goatee, beard and/or sideburns to look exactly how you want them... you'll be amazed by how nice the straight blade can make all of your lines look, this is why the best barber's always use these types of blades when they shave their customers... it makes for a very professional look. When you are finished, turn the water on cold and splash cold water all over the areas of your face that you've shaved, never use after shave because it will dry out your skin... even if it's the kind that says it won't. The cold water will close your pores and prevent any bumps from forming better than any after shave on the market. This last step is very important : Never, ever dry the cold water off of your face... allow it to air dry by itself, if you dry it yourself your skin will not soak up the amount of moisture that it needs. There you have it, the exact step-by-step process that I use to get a perfect shave every time... follow these instructions and it'll do the same for you. BTW, the straight blades are hard to find, I get mine at a local beauty supply store. If you don't have one within driving distance from where your live you can find them online... the one I use is made by a company called Fromm.
Keep your eyes open...
Watch how the guys that are getting all of the girls act, move, talk, walk, dress, and how they carry themselves. Try to copy all of the above, and add your own style into the mix! They must be doing something right, correct? So why not mimic what they do so your doing the right thing too? This web site teaches you how to do all of these things, but it really helps to see it in action... keep your eyes and mind open the next time you see that guy that the women flock to, because it'll step your game up a notch.
Color-coded-players
Always make sure that your outfit matches... I see guys every day that have no idea how much girls they are missing out on because of one simple fact : They have no idea how to dress! It all about the colors man, get the right and your game will be on point. Whatever you wear should match, from your hat to your shoes... and so should everything in between! I don't mean all ONE color, but rather two or maybe three colors that mesh nicely together.
Now for today's lesson...
Share Your Knowledge! Don't keep your friends in the dark from all the good stuff your learning here. When they ask you "How the hell are you pulling all of these girls all of a sudden?", tell them! You don't have to tell them about the web site if you don't want to... it can be your own secret weapon, but instead you can teach them. Show them what they are doing wrong and how you can help them fix it. This can actually work in your favor because if your friends all know how to get girls there will be more girls for you! Most hot girls have hot friends, and if your boy picks up a dime... she'll wanna bring a friend or two with her, and he can't handle them all himself. That's where you come in :)
"Girl, I bet you've never seen THIS before"
Be different from other guys... show those girls something they never saw before... wear colors most guys are scared of... be rare. Believe it or not, I can go out with a pink shirt on and pull girls left and right. Why? Because most other guys have the balls to do it... and having balls walks hand in hand with confidence, the #1 trait in men that women find attractive in men. Now don't take this the wrong way and get a mohawk or something stupid, just be creative... and be different.
What's up with your girl's sister, buddy?
Make as many friends as possible that are already involved in relationships, because they are always trying to hook their friends up with each other. This is a easy way to have the girls brought to YOU, without barely any action on your part. Using this strategy you don't even have to make a "perfect" first impression because your friends will have already given her the thumbs up.
Chin up, shoulder back, now strut!
Remember that not only women use body language to send signals to the opposite sex. You may be sending bad vibes to a woman while you are talking to her by your own body language, and you might not even know it! Make sure to keep this in mind while you are reading the Body Language Section of this website.
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