[ The Players Letters ] So, What Now?

Letters ~ Got Questions?

You've got questions, The Player's got answers. Read through some of the personal advice that I have given to men on how to attract women and develop strong social relationships. It may just help you as well.

Hey player,

I'm writing this to u because I've read through u're site and it seems u realy know what u're talking bout and if there's anyones advice I'd want its u'rs, it sucks that i hadn't found u're site until most of this story had finished, otherwise i might not have had to write u, anyway, here goes........ There's this "popular", beutiful, blond girl in my grade at my school who I've liked for ages and usually dates the older guys (I'm a couple months younger). I know she has found me attractive since i started going to her school and a couple of years ago we started talking to each other and i ended up asking her to junior prom. She said I'll think about it then after a couple of weeks she said she was going with someone else. After this i completely ignored her for a year until a school camp where she sent me a letter saying sorry and she wanted to "talk and be friends again" so i stupidly sent some sentimental 'romantic' reply and she ignored me.

So another year of silence passes and its about 6 months ago and our final school 'spiritual' camp has arrived and by this time i had now established myself within the school and was no longer a new kid (i was playing soccer and guitar and stuff in front of the school, so maybe she was forced to take notice). Anyway on this camp while i was virtually alone she approaches me and we talked for the first time in about a year and its all good and things are friendly. However once we returned to school, i again continued to ignore her because i thought i was just getting her attention cause our 'spiritual camp' made her feel guilty for ditching me twice before and she wanted to make up before school finished but i didn't want to be friends and i wasn't going to be shot down by her again for a third time. About 5 months pass and graduation ceremonies begin and up until this time I'd just been ignoring her cause i still really liked her and seriously, looking at her was just depressing. (though something weird about during this time was that I'd ocasionaly catch her looking at me but then she'd quickly turn away when i looked instead of trying to maintain eye contact like before prior to my previous attempts at asking her out).

So i was completely caught of gaurd when after 5 months of silence, at our graduation ceremony she comes up and hugs me saying 'i just wanted to hug u' and introduces me to her sister (showing me off right ;-) the next day she does a similar thing again twice during the day, but for some reason its brief and we don't have any real conversations and this only helps to confuse me. So about a week later i c her at a end of year party and approach her and she see's me and hugs me for ages. Things are great we talk and she tells me she's liked me for a while and told me i reminded her of some celebrity. Then she asks for my number and says we should c a movie. Then when I'm leaving the party i c her crying the gutter being cumforted by friends. Later that night i find out she has a boyfriend and thats probably y she was crying and i have vaugue memories of her friends subtly intervening when i tried to get her alone during that night. In retrospect i think my ignoring her for ages must have acidentaly made me play hard to get and that's possibly part of y all this happened.

A couple days after the party i call and ask her out on Thursday but (still not saying she has a boyfriend) she tells me she's got 'alot of shit going on until senior prom' (which is 1 week away and our last organized school gathering ever) i respond with 'ok' and she asks when else i was free, unfortunately i was pissed off by her rejection and said "I'm not but we'll have a nice talk at the prom". She didn't seem too cut and i figured now she'd get time to sort things out and she later sent me a message saying that we'd talk soon. So senior prom came around and she came with a guy and introduced him to me as her boyfriend and i kinda felt bad for the fella despite the fact he was older and bigger than me, anyway so we didn't say anything of substance durring that exchange and i went outside alone to think. Next thing i knew the prom was over and i had to go and couldn't talk to her.

I tried to call her the days after but she didn't pick up. Then when i called again from a private number she answered the phone but when i said it was me she hung up so i sent her a text message asking her y she did and said what she did at the party if she didn't mean it and there was still no response so i sent her a kidna goodbye message saying "good luck for the future etc.".

That was about 6 weeks ago now and since schools finished i haven't heard from or seen her since. Straight after the whole thing i was pretty screwed up for a couple of weeks and didn't really want to try to hook up when approached by women but now I'm alright. But still i think about her way too much, maybe it's because of our history, we did go to school with each other for 4 years. Anyway i was wondering what u're opinion on this whole thing is and whether or not i should let it be. Recently I've thought about sending a message just asking if she wanted to 'catch up' or something just to c if it was truly over, though maybe that will just leave me with less closure than i have now, I'm not really sure.

Thanks for listening,

James

Hi James,

It good to hear from you and I've enjoyed reading your story. I've been in similar situations so I know where your coming from, and think I can help.

Unfortunately the best advice that I can give you is to let things be between you and this girl... for now. Chasing after her will be to no avail, considering that you've tried similar methods repeatedly in the past. When women play hard-to-get they like to push our buttons by flirting with us until we become interested in them... only to pull away once we express that we feel the same. The trick is to beat them at their own game by being even harder to get... by showing them that their advances have little to no effect on you. This will keep them trying to get you interested in them... and will eventually make them become frustrated by the fact that they think they are doing something wrong... because their advances usually work on most guys. This makes you appear to be different from the rest... better than the rest.

However, this information is only useful to you for future reference, because you are now out of school and do not see this girl on a regular basis anymore. The only way to be around her a lot would require you to contact her... and that goes against the basic rules of this hard-to-get technique, so it just would not work. She may attempt to contact you, or you may see her in public... and that is exactly what happened to me when I was in this situation. If that happens this is what you need to do...

Remember that when a girl likes you, no matter what the reason is... she will like you forever. You will always have the possibility of getting with her each time that you see her. Now with that in mind, when she contacts you or you see her in public... act confident, know in your mind that you can get her, and play the hard-to-get game to the fullest. Forget about any natural instinct you may have to let her know that you still like her... and forget about anything you've seen in the movies. Act as if you have rarely thought about her since school has ended, and that you've moved on to a new and better life. Also make sure that it is you that ends the conversation, and end it quick. Say something like "I'm really busy so I've got to go (or get off phone), it's been nice seeing (or talking with) you"... and attempt to leave or get off the phone without saying that you want to ever talk to her again. If you do this properly, she will definitely ask to see you again. If she does not, then it is simply a lost cause... you've tried everything and it's better that you forget about her and move on... some fights just can't be won and a big part about being a player is learning to let some of them go... there are millions more.

I hope this helps... and if you do see her again let me know how things turn out.

Good luck,

- The Player

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