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Dave:
I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there that
would like your input on this question.
There is something that I haven't seen addressed
in your mailbag or your e-book and that is what to
do when the woman you've have e-mailed or called
didn't reply to the e-mail or phone call and you
see them again. Two personal examples:
Example one:
I meet this girl at my job. Start doing C&F
routine on her: "Why do you look so serious, are
you trying to scare people away. I know inside of
you there's a nice girl that's just dying to come
out." She laughs and I say "That's more like it,
now you don't look so scary." To make a long story
short I ask this girl Friday to give me her phone
number so that we can get together the next day.
She gave me her number and I called, left a
message on her voice mail and she never got back
to me. Saw her the following Monday (she sits
right across from me) and she didn't say anything.
No reason why she didn't call me back. Nothing. I
ended not talking to her. I thought that if I
asked her about why she flaked she would've given
me a lame excuse anyway. I haven't been giving her
too much attention since.
Example two:
I go to this club on a regular basis. I saw this
one girl and started dancing with her. Did some
C&F routine like "Don't get too close", "I don't
even know you that well". She was enjoying it. I
asked her for her number before I left (she didn't
have e-mail). Found out after I called the number
that she gave me a wrong number. I saw her two
weeks afterwards in the same club and just ignored
her.
Now for my question. What should I do when I come
across situations like these again? Act like it
never happened and ignore them or call them on
their bullshit. Sometimes I think women flake as a
test to see what the men are going to do if they
happen to come across them again. I know some guys
will just tell them off? What have you done in
these situations?
RF NYC
First, thanks for this question. I have had
this situation happen to me personally many, many
times, and I'm glad you asked.
One of the things I've talked about before is
how once a person believes something to be "true"
or believes that they understand how something
works, that they tend to make other information or
new things that they learn, fit that older model,
rather than being open to change.
For instance, people who become part of a cult
will tend to take the advice from others, evidence
that they're not doing the right thing etc. to
help convince them that they ARE doing the right
thing.
The reason that I bring this up is because it
sounds to me like you're looking for an answer to
how to solve a problem that you should actually
try to PREVENT in the first place.
I'm going to talk about how to prevent this
problem first, then tell you a few things you can
do when you run into it again in the future as
well.
Here are two things to keep in mind:
1) Women give out their numbers to guys A LOT (on
average). A woman can have all kinds of reasons
for giving out her number. She might like the
attention, or it might even be just to get rid of
a guy.
2) Women expect men to call THEM. And if a man
doesn't reach them when he calls, a woman expects
the man to TRY AGAIN. (In the book "The Rules" -
the book for women about how to get a man to marry
you - the authors tell women not to call men and
rarely return a man's call, because it makes him
think about you and want you more).
If I were you, I'd start thinking about two
approaches:
1) Figure out how to make it so that women WANT to
give you their REAL number and make them WANT to
call you back based on the first meeting.
2) If you got a number instead of email, call her
at least 3 or 4 times before you give up.
To figure out how to make women WANT to call
you back, you might have to work on improving your
humor, your personality, your appearance, or
whatever. In short, you need to learn how to make
a woman feel ATTRACTION for you when you first
meet her. If you don't, she's not likely to call
you back.
Don't go too overboard on this one because a
lot of this issue is just the fact that women
don't return calls as often as men do... but think
it through.
There are probably a few things you're doing
that make women feel a little strange at first
(this is just a guess, as most guys have things
they could improve).
Maybe you're acting a little too nervous.
Maybe you're acting too "nice" or like you're
"awed" by women.
Maybe you're not making eye contact directly,
and you're giving off a "not-very-confident" vibe.
Think about it.
But the best thing you can do is to just call a
woman on the phone 3 or 4 times before you give
up! (That is, when a woman gives you her REAL
number).
Women expect men to keep trying, so they just
don't call back.
Remember, SHE'S THE WOMAN. She's the one who's
getting approached by interested guys, and who
probably sees you as "just another guy" calling
her.
You must be persistent, keep it cool and low-
key, and keep calling until you reach her.
If a woman gives you a fake number, it just
means that she wanted to get rid of you...
You need to think about how the interaction
went, and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the behavior and
communication that made her want to give you a
fake number.
Again, think about it and make improvements.
And to answer your question directly of "What
do I do if I see her again afterwards", I'd say
that it all depends.
If you would consider going out with a woman
who has the ethical standard of giving out fake
numbers, then I'd say you might want to reconsider
your choice of women...
And if you would like to talk to a woman who
didn't call you back (maybe you left her a
message, etc.), then I'd come up with something
funny. Cocky & Funny, that is.
Walk over and make fun of her because it's
obvious that she didn't have enough money to pay
her phone bill and when she tried to call you back
she found that her phone was disconnected but that
it's nothing to be ashamed of and you'll take pity
on her and buy her some ramen noodle soup while
she's broke and hungry.
Just make sure you're lighthearted about it,
and you communicate that you could really care
less that she didn't call you back... but that
you're going to take the opportunity to bust on
her because she's in your presence.
In the seminars that I teach, we do some
exercises around body language and other non-
verbal communication.
Your body language says SOOOOO MUCH about you,
and women use body language to decide many, many
things about you.
If your body language and communications aren't
working together to create ATTRACTION, then you're
going to get a lot more fake numbers and a lot
fewer calls back from women.
...And if you haven't read my eBook "Double Your
Dating", then you need to do that NOW. It's my
original manual for success with women and dating,
and it's the place to get started if you want to
take your success with women to the next level.
You can download it right now:
Click HERE to get it now!
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
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