Hey Player,
Thanks for the great tips. All right, there is this one girl that I have been
talking to. We have been friends now for a year and a half. She just got out
of a three year relationship. We started going out together and having a
good time. I started to feel that she was starting to like me. Any ways, last
week I told her how I felt, then she told me how she felt. She told me that
right now it will feel too awkward to go out with me b/c she doesn't want to
hurt me. She also told me she needs a friend right now b/c she is very hurt
and scared. She said she thought she was ready for a relationship, but now
she wants to go out and have a good time. I read your tip about not asking a
girl about commitment first, but I felt it was the right time since we have
been seeing each other. Did I do the right thing by expressing my feelings
to her first? Also, what do I do now since I expressed my feelings to her
first? I still want to continue to see her, but I don't want her to feel
awkward around me. Please offer me some advice.
What's up Matt,
Your situation is a very common one, many men are in similar situations and
most make the wrong decisions because they make them based on emotions
rather than logic... emotions cloud our judgement. The scenario in which the
nice guy who expresses his feelings and goes to extremes to get the girl...
will never have a good ending, unless you are Freddy Prince Jr. working on
your next "chick flick".
You should know my answer to your first question by now, yes you did make
the wrong decision by telling her how you felt before she told you first,
but it's an easy mistake to make. When she said "I don't want to hurt you...
it'll feel awkward... and I'm scared" she was lying. She was simply turned
off by you expressing your feelings for her, because you had put yourself on
her "easy to get" list, and women do not want what is easy to get, they want
what is hard to get.
With that in mind you should be starting to understand what it is you need
to do if you want to get this girl... play "hard to get". You can learn how
to do this by reading one of my recent articles which is called "Cat &
Mouse" and can be found on the web site. However, I must warn you that in
almost every case in which a man goes from friend to boyfriend, the
relationship only lasts for a very short period of time.
I'm not trying to discourage you, and I hope that you can prove me wrong,
but the facts are the facts and I've seen this same thing hundreds of times
before. The best advice that I can give you is to never become friends with
a good looking girl in the future, you must express your romantic interest
in them immediately in order to keep yourself out of the "friends" category.
You want to become friends with unattractive women so when you meet their
good looking friends you've got a good reference on your resume, but never
become friends with any woman that you may want to begin a relationship
with, because you will ruin your chances.
If you play the "hard to get" game correctly, I'm sure that you will be able
to at least get her into bed a few times, but if I were you I would move on
after that before your feelings for her grow any stronger to save yourself
from getting burned.
- The Player
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