I've gotten several emails asking questions
like, "Should I pay for dates?" and "How do I
avoid paying for dates?"
The answer that I'm going to propose is almost
misleading in its simplicity, but hey... those are
my favorite kind...
DON'T GO OUT ON "TRADITIONAL DINNER DATES"
ANYMORE.
See, if you don't go out on "take her out to
dinner" dates anymore, then you won't have to deal
with paying for them.
Profound, I know. Please, hold the applause.
Let me explain this a little more...
A lot of good research suggests that women
think men, who are potential mates, fall into
one of two categories. I call these categories
"Lover" and "Provider". If you've read my book
"Double Your Dating" then you will recall that one
of the three free bonus reports was dedicated to
this topic.
The basic idea goes like this:
In a "traditional" boy-meets-girl situation,
the girl makes a decision early on whether you're
the type of guy that she should get physically
involved with quickly (spelled A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-
N), or if you're of the "nicer" type (spelled W-U-
S-S-Y) that would be glad to "prove" yourself to
her by paying for lots of expensive dates, buying
flowers, etc.
I realize that I'm generalizing here, and that
I'm being a bit extreme... but I'm making a point,
so go with me.
A very common approach that men use is the old
"Can I take you out sometime?" line.
At first glance, it sounds innocent enough.
It has the ring of "I'm a nice guy, and I'd
like to take you to dinner so I have a chance to
get to know you better" to it, right?
Well, it may seem that way at first glance, but
let's get a little deeper into what ELSE you're
saying when you ask a question like this one (or
start off by paying for dinner, etc.).
Here are a few of the OTHER LESS OBVIOUS things
that you're saying when you offer to "take a woman
out".
1) You're starting off the relationship RIGHT FROM
THE BEGINNING by offering to buy something for
her, and more importantly YOU'RE SETTING AN
EXPECTATION. In other words, when you do this,
you're setting an expectation that you're going to
do this from NOW ON.
2) You're subtly saying, "I feel like I need to
use a bribe to get you to see me again". I'm sure
that men have been bribing women with food and
gifts since the dawn of our species. Does this
sound far-fetched to you? Check out how our
closest relatives, the chimps use food to persuade
females to have sex with them. No, really.
3) Once you "take a woman out" and prove to her
beyond the shadow of a doubt that you like to pay
for things, you set a whole series of other
subconscious expectations in place. Without going
into detail, most of these other expectations will
only lead her thinking of you in the "nice guy"
category, and costing you time and money that you
might as well have thrown down a rat hole.
4) By going out to a typical nice restaurant
setting, you start a whole chain of events that
often leads to two people looking at each other
over a candle, in a loud room full of other
people, with a typically uncomfortable "OK, so
tell me about yourself and don't ask me too many
personal questions please" look on your faces.
I don't know about you, but this just isn't my
idea of a good time.
So, what's the alternative?
Thought you'd never ask... By the way, if you
have NOT read my ebook "Double Your Dating"... and
the three bonus books that come along with it,
then you need to go and download those RIGHT NOW.
You can download all of them right here:
• Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook •
Now then...
As I said earlier, the first thing you might
consider doing is NOT ASKING WOMEN "OUT" ANYMORE.
Instead, just say, "Do you have email?" If she
does, hand her a pen and say, "Great, write it
down for me." Then, follow up by inviting her to
join you for a cup of tea and some stimulating
conversation. Here's an example email for you:
"Hi, it was fun talking yesterday... I'm thinking
that we should get together tomorrow for a cup of
tea and some stimulating conversation. You seem
like you might make a nice friend."
Then, if you're REALLY cheap, show up 5 minutes
late so she buys her own tea and is waiting for
you. You can even say, "How inconsiderate of
you... where's mine?"
Here's the key:
IF YOU WANT TO BE A MAN THAT SHE FEELS
ATTRACTION FOR, THEN QUIT ACTING LIKE ALL THE
OTHER GUYS THAT TRY TO BUY HER ATTENTION WITH FOOD
AND GIFTS.
Use the techniques that you're learning from me
to be Cocky & Funny, keep her laughing, and
generally bust on her to increase the ATTRACTION
level.
If you buy a woman enough dinners, she may
begin to feel some AFFECTION for you... but food
and gifts will never lead to ATTRACTION. Big
difference.
Now, knowing how to avoid buying women dinners
and gifts is only a small piece of the puzzle.
You obviously need to know how to get a woman
to be interested enough to date you in the first
place before you can NOT take her out on a date!
Well, as you can probably imagine, I've spent a
lot of years now figuring out how to become the
kind of guy that women want to be around.
I've spent a lot of time watching guys who are
what you might call "Naturals" with women.
I've spent a lot of time trying out just about
every imaginable idea and strategy with women...
And guess what?
Most of them SUCKED.
Most of them didn't work.
Most of them felt strange and manipulative.
Most of them were just plain not good.
After trying all this stuff and feeling around
in the dark for quite a long time, I started to
realize that my problem wasn't the TECHNIQUES I
was using, it was the way I was approaching
things.
You see, I hadn't really taken the time to
understand women and the psychology of dating and
attraction.
I was just trying to learn tricks, hoping that
they would magically fix everything for me.
Well, they didn't.
But, what DID fix things for me, and what did
wind up leading me to fantastic success with women
and dating, was learning what I call the "Inner
Game"... then going on to learn techniques that
supported this new perspective.
If you are ready, you can download my online e-book "Double Your Dating" right now, and be reading
it within a few minutes. Go download it here :
• Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook •
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
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