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How to Pick up Women at a Party
by Matthew Whiting
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I know a guy who can't leave a party without three girls on his arm, begging for a ride home in his car. I know another guy who only gets women in his car if he's offered to be the designated driver and has stood with a glass of water in hand all night. Why do some guys have all the luck, and others don't?
Picking up women at a party requires a combination of three factors:
Standing out from the crowd.
A healthy dose of flirtation.
Standing Out from the Crowd
By definition, a party is full of people who are interesting, vibrant, having fun, and looking to hook up. It's like a big glass candy jar that anyone can reach into and pull out a prospective partner. As a result, you're competing against A LOT of other guys for female attention ... but there are also LOTS of women in the crowd.
To be the one that all the women notice, you need to stand out--and I don't mean that in a bad way. The easiest two ways to stand out is to be the person having the most fun (and I don't mean the drunken kind!) and to be the person with the most striking appearance.
When you're getting ready to go to a party, don't make it your intention to score. Make it your intention to have a good time. Don't even think about restricting yourself to any particular girl until the end of the night. If you're enjoying yourself, women will be attracted to you automatically. The more elusive you prove, the more interested they'll become. Women aren't attracted to the guys who are seeking to hook up, which is why that needy guy in the corner can never seem to score. Rather, women are attracted to guys who seem to be completely self-confident and self-contained.
Never wear the same thing everyone else is wearing. Add at least one unique thing to your appearance that will make you stand out. Maybe that's black jeans when everyone else is wearing blue; maybe it's a shirt in an unusual color or a shiny pair of cowboy boots. Women notice difference, while their eyes slide straight past more of the same thing.
A Healthy Dose of Flirtation
If you haven't learned to flirt yet, I suggest that you start. Women LOVE to be flirted with--even if there's no chance at all that you'll hook up! Flirt with the girl behind the bar; flirt with the older woman who's here on her own. Women will notice you flirting with other women and want to be the object of YOUR exclusive attention.
When you're flirting, you're also working a room. You are not hidden behind a wall of your friends or standing in the middle of a circle so closed that no one else can get in. You also send out the perception that you're approachable. The more you move throughout a room, rather than staying with one group of friends all night, the more people you will meet.
One huge mistake that many men make is to use alcohol to give them confidence. Women know when a guy is drunk, and it's a huge turn-off! So don't booze it up. Drink enough to give you a buzz then spend more time talking than tossing back shots.
What you are drinking will send out message to people as well. The drink you have in your hand will give people clues about your personality. I am not suggesting that you start drinking shaken--not stirred--martinis like James Bond, but a signature drink can do a LOT for you. Certainly, it can make it clear that your tastes extend beyond Budweiser and Coors.
Gaining Enough Trust to Go Home with Someone
By the end of the night, you should have met almost every woman in the room, and a few have most likely shown some interest. An hour or so before the party is about to end, make a decision in your mind about whom you want to go home with. Ditch your attitude of flirtation and focus solely on her. Ask her for a walk outside under the stars, or see if there's a quiet room where you can talk. Make it clear that your intentions are to get to know her, not start groping. That can wait until you've left the party and gone back to her place or yours.
If she accepts your offer of a walk or a moment alone together, she will often be responsive to a first kiss. Don't come on too aggressively. Your first kiss should be light, and make sure to look into her eyes when you break away to see her response. If she smiles back, you know that you won't be going home alone.
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Matthew Whiting is a professional writer specializing in dating and
relationship advice. He has extensive experience in training men
to maximize their seduction potential and ability to interact with
women successfully. He is considered by many to be an expert in
his field with his frank and forthright approach. He is best known
for his work in "How to Be Irresistible to Women," which is part of
the 000Relationships network.
His product is a compilation of 7 life-changing e-books, a complete
16-part audio course, and a host of exclusive Members Articles. The
"How to Be Irresistible to Women" package offers single men a
dynamic and comprehensive tool-kit to attract women and establish
an honest and supportive relationship. You can learn more about how
to attract the woman of your dreams at:
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