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Before we begin allow me the opportunity to proclaim that I do not hate FaceBook at all. Quite the contrary, I love my overall experience with FaceBook so far. It is very enjoyable and possibly the best social network in the history of mankind. So keep in mind that I've already disclaimed anything related to this article being an attempt to take shots at FaceBook or its users as a whole. Everything that I am about to present to you is nothing more than an outside perspective of certain things that people do on FaceBook that they shouldn't be doing if they want to have the best online social experience possible. Essentially, this is a guide to behaving on FaceBook in a manner that will make people like (pun intended, I just love irony) you more.
This article may possibly appear as if I'm just ranting about things that annoy me about FaceBook, but please understand that I am merely identifying and analyzing FaceBook behavior from an objective standpoint. Although these may be my own personal opinions, my intentions for broadcasting them is to help out those of you who may be engaging in these social blunders and offer constructive criticism, not to complain about my own dislikes.
In other words, I don't care if people continue to do these things, I only care about helping out those who may learn something through my thoughts on it all.
We still cool? Good.
After being on FaceBook for almost a year now, I've absorbed enough information about it to devise a comprehensive list of rules that everyone should follow. I'm not an expert on FaceBook, but I am considered an expert on everything social, and given the fact that FaceBook is a social platform, my advice should be taken as sound and noteworthy.
This list mostly contains things that you should NOT be doing on FaceBook as opposed to stuff that you should do. This is due to the fact that I've noticed an enormous amount of mistakes being made by people, mistakes that are ultimately having an adverse effect on their social status and limiting their options when it comes to actually using FaceBook as a dating tool.
Let's get started, shall we?
FaceBook Rule #1:
Guys, please avoid the topless pictures. Sure, you might work really hard on those abs and want to show them off, but taking shots of yourself in the reflection of the bathroom mirror with your iPhone isn't going to impress anyone. Need a reason for my logic? Fair enough; putting those types of pictures online is basically screaming "LOOK EVERYONE! I'm going out of my way to get attention!", and that is obviously not the behavior that someone with a high social standing and level of confidence would partake in. You are conveying the message that you have a low self-image when you post pics like that, because you are reaching out directly trying to provoke others to comment on your photo so you can get a quick ego boost. People who already have established confidence don't look to others to provide them with validation. The same goes for the ladies; keep it classy girls. If guys are posting comments on your photos that are along the lines of "damn, gurl u so sexy!" or "when you gonna let me hit that?" then you need to start putting on more clothes before striking that pose. If you don't want people to think that you're a promiscuous woman (aka: hooker), then don't wear the uniform. Don't get it twisted and think that I'm hating on people that have good physique. I'm in great shape as well and love to show myself off just as much as the next guy. The only difference is, I only do it when I'm in an appropriate situation; like at the beach or a swimming pool. This rule can be "bent" to some degree, such as if you've just gotten a new tattoo on your back/chest and want to throw up a pic to show all of your friends. With this rule, I'm specifically talking about the "check out my bod everyone!" type of pictures, ESPECIALLY when using them as your profile pic. If you still aren't convinced that I'm right about posting topless pics being a bad thing, then let me seal the deal with one final fact: it is a cliche. So many guys are doing it, that by doing it yourself you are just following the trend and being like everyone else. Do you want to be just like everyone else, or do you want to be unique and creative? You choose.
FaceBook Rule #2:
Typng lyk dis iz duing nothn bt mk u luuk lyk u fkin nvr lrned houw ta reed! Need I say more? Please don't make me say more, it gave me a headache just writing that one sentence, just like I get a headache every time I try to read something like that on FaceBook. If you type like that people will hold you in much less regard than they would if you used proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. If you want to type fast or are using your mobile, that's cool; you can slack on the grammar and punctuation a bit (I know it's a pain in the ass on many phones just to use a period or comma), but please keep everything spelled properly and legible. By communicating on FaceBook in a sloppy manner, you are giving people the impression that your intelligence level is below par. As a result they will think you are dumb or uneducated even if in reality you are smarter than they are. There is nothing "cool" about typing with internet slang, it is annoying and projects a negative image of you to others. If you need proof, just take a look at what you are reading right now and the manner in which I am writing it. Then go hop onto FaceBook and find someone writing sloppy. Which one of us appears to be more intelligent? That is the same way people are judging you. Consider this - women think intelligent men are more attractive than idiots. Knowing how to spell and write properly does not make you look like a nerd, it just makes you not look like an idiot.
FaceBook Rule #3:
Nobody cares if you just woke up, what you are eating for breakfast, what time you are leaving for work/school, how boring it is while you are there, if you got a mustard stain on your shirt on your lunch break, how tired you are on your way home, if you stubbed your toe on the way in the door, what movie you are going to watch, and what time you are going to sleep. Does everything I just summarized sound like a boring day to you? Ok, well then why would you want to post up every uneventful thing that you do during a normal, boring day for the world to see? If you consistently post up mundane and routine things on FaceBook as status updates, people will quickly being to believe that YOU are mundane and boring as well. If you see a dude on stilts juggling three live chinchillas while riding a moped, post that shit up (pic or it never happened!). Maybe if you happen to run into a screen writer that wants to make a movie based on your life (not the mundane and dull parts of course) go ahead and pop that status up with a quickness. Perhaps if you stumble upon a 6-foot iguana riding a skateboard, do the damn thing. Ok, maybe those examples were a bit extreme, but I hope I got my point across; avoid posting up pointless things because it displays a bad image of yourself. Remember my "screen writer" example a moment ago? Try to theoretically think of FaceBook as a chronicle of your life, and with each post that you make, you are adding a new line to your "script". Do you really want your story to be about lame things like you going to get milk because you ran out? Or would you rather have those boring things "cut" from your story, leaving only the exciting and eventful happenings of your life appearing in the final production? It's entirely up to you how the outside world perceives your life based upon the things that you reveal about it. Trust me when I tell you that not saying anything at all, and remaining mysterious, is FAR better than posting up stuff that screams "MY LIFE IS BORING!" Do you Feel me? If you really just want to make a post for the hell of it, then think of something interesting to say or make up a cool quote (don't post well-known quotes or lines from songs, that's played out), anything that people will find is worth the time reading and may provoke a conversation to ensue. When I post a status update, tons of people click the like button every single time and at least 20 comments result. Why? Because I only post things that people will actually LIKE or find intriguing, and keep the boring stuff to myself. My posts don't get that much attention just because I have a lot of fans on FaceBook, its because everyone knows when I post something it is worthwhile, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it at all. Yes, it's that simple.
FaceBook Rule #4:
FaceBook may provide a great platform for people to get together, have conversation, and maybe set up a date or two. However, FaceBook is NOT a dating service. Don't forget that; people are not on FaceBook for the specific purpose of finding people to date! This is why you must approach FaceBook carefully if you are going to use it as a tool to fuel your dating life. Guys, you can't just scroll through the women's profile pics on FaceBook saying to yourself "I'd hit that" and "nah, wouldn't hit that" or "maybe if I were drunk". It doesn't work like that. On FaceBook you should approach your interactions with others purely as if you are just communicating with another human being, not like you are hitting on a chick at the bar. After this "ice breaking" phase you can then begin to shift the dynamic of the conversation/messages towards setting up a date or getting a number. This all begins internally in your own head with the way that you approach the concept of FaceBook each time that you log on. If you log on in with a frame of mind similar to "I'm gonna holla at some bitches", then you are submitting yourself to failure before you even open up your internet browser.
FaceBook Rule #5:
Don't try to friend random people that you don't know or never plan to communicate with just because FaceBook says that you have X-amount of mutual friends with them. Of course most people will just accept your request simply because they want to up their own friend count, but really what is the point? It's only a number. In the end all that you are doing is adding more useless stuff to your news that you don't care about, which makes it more difficult to filter through it all and find the posts made by people you actually know. Also, by all means avoid bragging about how many friends that you have. When I see people making status updates proclaiming that they just reached the ultimate achievement of acquiring 1,000 friends, only one word comes to mind: lame. For arguments sake, I'm about to break this very rule and "brag" about my own friend count, but I have a reason for it and you'll never see me do this again. Here goes: I've been on FaceBook for less than a year, and in that time I've acquired over 1,600 friends. The first 50-100 or so I added myself due to them being people that I actually knew and were the first to come to mind (if I forgot about you and you had to add me, sorry, you guys know how busy I am). The other 1,550+ people have all requested me as they are all mostly fans of my writing and/or website. This trend will continue and my friend count will grow by around 200 per month for as long as I remain on FaceBook, and I won't ever be requesting anyone else myself, just accepting. Ok, now that I've gotten that out of the way, allow me to get to my point: I don't give a damn about how many friends I have, and I never will. I love having my fans following me on FaceBook because it is a great way for me to use to spread my message and teachings. For example, many of you reading this right now actually came here from my FaceBook page. You may never have found this article if I had not posted it on my wall. As you can see, I have a valid reason for having a large amount of friends, and that is why I get so many requests; people WANT the information that being my friend on FaceBook grants them access to. If you don't have a legitimate reason as I do, then trying to get as many friends as possible is a pointless endeavor. If people are requesting you left and right, then I'm not telling you to deny their requests, you should accept everyone that requests you (except spammers), but do NOT go out of your way to request others that you do not really know or do not intend on contacting. Keep it real and stick to people that are true friends and acquaintances, people you are wooing and trying to date, or people that desire the posts that you will be making or advice you will give (such as in my case). Always remember this; as your friend count rises, you do not become any "cooler". You stay the same, all that changes is a number on your FaceBook page.
There you have it, my quick list of things to avoid doing on FaceBook in order to keep your social status on the rise. You may not agree with everything above, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. However, keep in mind that the logic above used to explain why these things are a bad idea is perfectly sound, otherwise they wouldn't be on here. Follow these guidelines and your online interactions are sure to improve! Also, don't forget to view my personal FaceBook profile and add me as a friend. I post a bunch of tips on my wall, and occasionally even throw up exclusive articles on FaceBook, don't miss them!
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