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Christian Dating Advice For Men
by Joseph Matthews
If there was ever a balancing act in our lives, it's the one in which we have to balance our desires, and our beliefs.
As men, we all find ourselves struggling from time to time with our urges and our faith. Here you can gain some perspective of fitting these two together.
Naturally, we strive to remain true in our beliefs. For some Christian men, it is vital that their experience of love stay within the boundaries of their church.
One of those boundaries is that sex should only happen once married.
I don't judge this tenant. Some people choose to follow it. I believe this is just as valid as the people who choose not to follow it.
Ancient philosophy informs us that partaking of sex with one another mingles a piece of our soul with the other and then continues with us forever.
In some respects, this is true. So the doctrine to keep your virginity for your wife is a wise one.
This can present a challenge for men who strive to remain strong in their faith.
How do continue to attract a woman and foster a relationship if you have to wait until marriage to consummate it?
After all - sex is important! Getting married to someone who's sexually incompatible with you can be a very difficult union to be in.
Here is some advice I've come up with specifically for men who face this issue of romance vs. faith.
1. Refine your beliefs
Keep in mind that things will be easier when you clarify your beliefs, since it is your faith, which guides you through your life.
We all have free will, the ability to think and reason, this is God's gift to us. We look at all our options while deciding which path we each take. Some of us take it all in and keep what teaching reverberates within our higher self, while others embrace all of their churches teachings.
Your choice is your own; however, you must be clear of your belief and stand strong.
2. Trust in the plan God has for you.
You must trust in the fact that there is a woman out there you are meant to be with, and God has a plan to unite you with her.
But there is only so much God can do! After all, we are beings of free will, and it is up to us to take action and seize the opportunities God presents to us.
To find the right woman for you, you must be proactive.
Going out and meeting women, taking them on dates, getting to know them - this is not just stuff that happens. We have to MAKE it happen. And it is our actions which keep us on the path God has set out for us, because our actions are based on what we believe.
3. Know that Virginity is not mystical or precious.
Sex is simply an act, whether virginity is in question or not. It comes naturally as does walking, talking and breathing. We do these things.
Man was meant to be fruitful and multiply. Sex is one of the greatest gifts we have from God. It is pleasurable because he meant for us to have sex.
Virginity may be sacred, however, it is meant to be given or lost. Your challenge is to seek out the right person with whom to share your sexuality.
In the end, there is a spiritual aspect to sex. It's the aspect that you find someone who makes you feel whole, alive, and loved. This is something separate from the act of sex, because this touches you on a deeper level.
Striving to achieve this type of closeness before marriage is most helpful in determining whether your physical aspects are in tune with a woman.
Do not be afraid to be intimate with women! Kissing, hugging, touching - this is all fine. But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires... that is where true intimacy stems from.
4. Women are real and do not belong on a pedestal.
Because of the importance places on sex in your faith, it might be easy to artificially inflate a woman's importance.
Perhaps you consider her a goddess, a delicate flower, something you should cherish and treat special.
But women are no different from me. God cut us both from the same cloth. To treat a woman as though she is special, just because you are sexually attracted to her, is not the same as respecting her.
Loving an ideal is easy, although it is difficult at times to love reality. Remember women too get cranky when hungry, awakens with morning breath and asks you to take out the garbage. This is reality.
We have to learn to love the reality of women, and not idealize them. Realize that sex is just one aspect to the females of our species. And that being human, we all share similar traits.
You will develop a clearer perspective when you realize that as humans women are just like you in many ways; this helps you to determine if they fit into your life plan.
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