Important: What you're about to learn is
extremely powerful. So once you finish reading this letter, put some
time aside to digest it and implement it in your life. You'll be glad
you did - trust me.
Since I was a kid, I've worked in sales.
My bosses always told me, "When talking to a prospect, spell out
as many benefits as your mind can muster up about the product or
service you're selling."
Back then, if I sold Sham Wows, I would
have told my prospects:
A regular towel doesn't work wet. But
the Sham Wow works wet or dry. You can use it on your house, your
boat, your car, and your RV. It can hold twelve times its weight in
liquid. It washes, it dries, and it polishes. It won't scratch
surfaces. It lasts ten years... and so on.
But then... something happened that
changed my whole perspective on selling...
Right out of college, I got a job selling
private placements. My boss told me I sounded like one of those
infomercial circus monkeys.
He said, "Instead of trying to sell
your customers, make them sell you. Brutally qualify them. When you
make them prove themselves to you, closing the deal is cake."
This struck me as strange considering
that all the prospects I spoke to were already qualified.
But it worked. I racked up sale after sale.
"I wonder if qualifying women would
work as well as qualifying prospects," I pondered.
Of course it does - duh.
In all human interactions, there's a
subtext - an underlying meaning - that defines a role for each
participant. This is what I call the Meta-Frame.
In our culture, the default
Meta-Frame for male/female courtship defines the woman's
role as the Prize and the man's role as the suitor desperately trying
to win her over.
If you don't know how to change the
Meta-Frame and a woman isn't automatically attracted to you, she'll
slot you into category two. (To learn more about the Meta-Frame, click
But when you qualify a woman, she feels
compelled to prove herself and pines for your validation.
The Meta-Frame reverses: you become the
Prize she is trying to win over.
This makes it impossible for her to
ensnare you into category two.
But you're not at of the woods yet, my
To succeed with a woman, her self-image
needs to be congruent with your desired outcome.
To give you an example, imagine a man
meeting a woman with a pillar-of-chastity self-image crazy glued to
Thoughts about manhandling her into a
public restroom and doing the nasty circle around and around in his
But because her self-image doesn't match
his fantasy, his chances of achieving it teeter on zero.
In a minute, you're going to learn a form
of qualifying that changes a woman's self-image, so it's congruent
with your desired outcome.
It does this by exploiting the
psychological principle Commitment & Consistency.
Commitment & Consistency shows that people have an obsessive
desire to be consistent with the deeds, commitments, or choices they
have already done or made. (More on this later.)
The first step to qualifying a woman is
figuring out your desired outcome with her.
If you don't, she'll determine the outcome
Be honest with yourself about what you want. Don't let
friends, family, and the media decide for you.
Next, think about what kind of self-image
a woman needs for you to achieve your desired outcome.
If you desire a one-night-stand from a
woman, she will need a self-image packed with a sense of adventure
and spontaneity to follow through.
If you want a woman to be your loving and
doting girlfriend or wife, she will need to see herself as loyal,
responsible, nurturing... and so on.
The qualities comprising the self-image
you want to give women are your standards.
You are going to use these standards as
challenges or questions when qualifying a woman.
Let's look at a simple formula to qualify
1) Ask her a question or present her with
a challenge that makes her qualify.
2) If she complies, give her a qualifier
(A qualifier is a compliment that lets her know that she's - at least
to some degree - lived up to your standards.)
3) Then put up a false barrier or qualify
Here's an example:
Swinggcat: Are you fun? (Notice: I'm
taking one of my standards and turning it into a
Girl: Yes. Very. (She qualifies and
commits herself to a fun girl self-image.)
Swinggcat: Good 'cause I like fun girls.
(I'm giving her a qualifier. This lets her know that she's lived up
to my standards.)
Girl: Thank you.
Swinggcat: What's the craziest thing
you've done in the last year? (I'm qualifying her further.)
Girl: I had sex on a train. (She's
compelled to qualify because of her need to stay consistent with her
previous commitment - being a fun girl.)
Swinggcat: Oh my God. I love you. You're
my new girlfriend. (I'm giving her a qualifier.) If you and I hang
out, we'll get arrested. So we should never hang out. (I'm creating a
Qualifying is a form of Push-Pull.
Push-Pull is emotionally Pushing a woman
away from you and then emotionally Pulling her back in. Each Push
creates an emotional space for each Pull.
To get a sense of where I'm going with
all this, think, for example, of your favorite junk food. Imagine
going on a strict diet for several weeks that prohibits you from
eating your favorite food.
What would it feel like to finally give
in to your urge and indulge after weeks of dieting?
I'm willing to bet it would taste a
thousand times yummier after dieting than before.
Push-Pull has a tension loop structure.
Each time you push her away, it sparks tension...
... and each time you pull her in, it
releases that tension.
The process of sparking and then
releasing tension in a woman creates attraction.
If you'd like to learn more about
To get a feel for this, let's look at
Girl: (Points her eyes at a heard of
people parading around in their underwear and folds her mouth into a
grimace of disgust) Those people are heinous.
Swinggcat: I think what they're doing is
kinda cool. I'm an open minded person and like to surround myself
with other open minded people. (I'm challenging her, insinuating that
she's not open minded, and hinting that she falls a few hairs short of
someone I'd hang out with. This pushes her away and creates
Girl: (As an attempt to release the
tension, she qualifies to me) I'm very open minded. I just got into
Zen Buddhism and Kabbalah.
Swinggcat: Awesome. We can be friends.
(This pulls her in and releases the tension.) But I sincerely hope a
few years from now you don't call me up and ask me to hang out with a
bunch of shoeless hippies who force me to drink their
"special" Kool-Aid. (I'm putting up a false barrier to push
her away and spark tension all over again.)
You can use small almost trivial
commitments from a woman to increase compliance for much larger and
only remotely related requests.
Let's look at an example...
Swinggcat: You wanna come to my no pants
Girl: What's that?
Swinggcat: It's a party where people
don't wear any pants.
Girl: Ew. That's gross. No way. I'm not a
Swinggcat: I thought you were
adventurous. But now I don't think you can handle me. (I'm
Girl: I am adventurous. (She commits to
being adventurous. This may seem like an innocent concession. But
unknowingly, she's bought into having an adventurous self-image.)
Swinggcat: I'm still not sure we can
hang. What's something adventurous you've done in the last year? (I'm
building on the previous commitment.)
Girl: I went bungee jumping in Costa Rica.
Swinggcat: Wow. That's awesome. But I'm
still not sure I can take you around my cool friends. Are you
Swinggcat: What's something spontaneous
you've done in the last year?
Girl: I moved to California on a whim.
Swinggcat: That's good because I like
girls who are adventurous and spontaneous.
Swinggcat: If you were in kissing school,
what grade would your kissing teacher give you on your kissing
Girl: I'd get an A.
Swinggcat: Let's find out.
Next I kiss her.
90% of the time women comply with this
"But why?" you may be wondering.
Because, as illustrated in the example
above, I first make them commit to being adventurous and spontaneous.
Although adventurism and spontaneity only
remotely relate to their kissing ability and willingness to kiss you,
these commitments modify their self-image enough for them to live up
to the kissing challenge.
If they didn't, they'd feel that they
weren't acting consistent with their new self-image.
I've got an intuition about you...
You wouldn't have taken the time to read
this far if you weren't interested becoming a more effective
communicator with women and improving your success with them.
Am I right?
If so, then keep reading...
Over the years, I've worked with hundreds
of guys running the gamut from virgins to bonafide Casanovas.
There's one thing that prevented all these
men from taking their success to the next level: they didn't properly
Qualifying women gives you the skills and
confidence to meet, attract, and succeed with the women you want.
What you learned in this letter is
extremely powerful - go out and see for yourself.
What you learned in this letter barely
scratches the surface of qualifying women.
If you'd like to master this skill and
take your success with women to the next level, check out my band-new
World Seduction 2.0.
Your Loyal Dating Coach,
P.S., If you enjoyed the attraction
secrets in this letter and would like to get more, click
Copyright 2010 Superior
Living, Inc. All rightsreserved."Swinggcat" and
"RealWorldSeduction" and "Push-Pull "are
trademarks of Superior Living, Inc.