Going forward, and back, and making her want
it. Sometimes the kiss is harder to get to
than others - but you can still find it if
you know how to act. And once you've started
arousing her, finding sexual fulfillment is
simple matter of staying PLAYFUL.
Finding the Elusive Kiss
So you've been touching your lady in a non-
threatening, playful, and sexually
stimulating way. You're ready to go (natch),
and she seems into you, but for whatever
reason, the CHANCE never seems to come.
The kiss-me look never quite materializes, or
it comes at just the wrong time (her cell
phone rings, for example). She's shy and
never gives you a good head-to-head look from
which you can lean into it (and twisting
around her craned neck is NOT sexy).
Whatever. It happens.
What can you do? Well, one thing that works
all by itself almost ALWAYS is this:
Take Control
Gently but firmly take hold of her chin
between your thumb and index finger. Move her
head to face you. Think sex scene in a movie.
Chances are she'll melt then and there and
you won't have to say a thing.
HOWEVER, sometimes you'll have a woman who
wants to PROVE just how strong she is, or how
cool she is, or she'll just be so nervous
that she'll actually pull away slightly even
though she WANTS to be kissed.
What do you do?
Be straightforward: say "Do you want me to
kiss you?"
If she says yes or nothing, just do it. If
she says maybe, say "Let's find out." and do
it.
And if she says no - unlikely given the
build-up you've gone through to get here -
say "I didn't say you could - you just looked
like you had something on your mind." in a
playful teasing tone. Don't act let down -
you were just PLAYING with her. Get it?
Wow, that was easy.
Be bold by not caring
You need to be BOLD here - although bold
isn't the right word. Bold suggests you are
doing something DESPITE doubting yourself or
the result. It suggests a bravery that you
want to erase.
WHAT?!! I don't want you to be BRAVE?
That's right. I want you not to care.
Listen, OBVIOUSLY you want to score. If you
didn't, you wouldn't go to the trouble of
wooing this lady, or setting the right mood,
or reading this book even.
But you can't let that be your OBVIOUS DIRECT
goal when you're in the process.
You need to concentrate on the PROCESS, and
your GOAL should be as slick as you can.
Do that, and yeah, the sex will come
(woohoo!), but if all you worry about is the
sex that gets telegraphed to your lady in the
worst possible way.
So, again, RELAXED playfulness is the key.
While you are sexually cuing her you don't
want it to be overtly SEXUAL, as we've
discussed before. You want it to be FUN.
STAY PLAYFUL, don't get serious
The mistake most men make when they try to
turn up the notch is they suddenly get too
SERIOUS.
Think about it. Imagine yourself in a first
kiss. How often are either of you smiling as
you go into it in your head?
Admit it. Not much. Most likely your
imagination has you both laughing, catching
each others' eye, sobering up with a soulful
look, and then a lustful lip-lock.
Listen, it can work that way. Just like
people can fall in love at first sight.
However, when you get SERIOUS at this crucial
moment you cause her to think SERIOUSLY about
it. Suddenly she's switched into "Is he mate
material?" mode and, unless you've got a deep
spiritual connection going, she's gonna have
some doubts.
You don't want doubts. You don't want all
those somber questions floating around. Hell,
it's just a kiss!
Stop treating it like a life-long pairing.
Keep it RELAXED. Keep it PLAYFUL. Keep it
FUN.
So no, don't be brave about the kiss. If it
takes that much bravado, you've already built
it up too much.
Treat it like you've been there before. Like
a natural extension of the fun you're having.
And not like you're entering some new chapter
in a saga, but just part of the path.
Trust me, this works.
Why it's good you studied sine and cosine
waves in High School.
And once you've kissed - STOP. That's right.
Go back to the fun you were having like
nothing happened.
She'll wonder what the hell's going on.
Of course, you know you're just TEASING her.
By pushing forward and then stepping back,
you're increasing the sexual tension.
Suddenly SHE'S the one thinking about sex -
not in the serious Could-I-Marry-Him way, but
in the Does-He-Like-Me? way.
When you fill in your next silence with
another kiss, you should take it a little
further. Then draw back a bit. And then take
it a bit further.
See where this is going?
You want to ratchet up the sexual tension
until she is WANTING to go further, faster
than you're going.
Keep playful. Make her beg (not in a mean way
- remember, this should be FUN for BOTH of
you). Before you know it, you'll both be
naked and putting the lambada to shame.
If you go too fast and she is uncomfortable,
back off a bit and build her up. The key is
making sure she WANTS the next step before
you get there.
This means taking your time. Go slow. Pay
attention to all the parts of her body (the
erogenous zone is anywhere on the body, as
long as you take your time and stimulate it).
Surprise her now and again - give her a
tickle when she expects a caress. Peck her
cheek and lean back when she expects a french
kiss. Ever-so-slowly undress her, but when
her bra is off, say "Oh, you look
cold"playfully and put her cardigan over her
shoulders and lean back with a mischievous
grin.
Get it?
You're only Man
Now this isn't as easy to practice until
you're regularly getting women in your
bedroom, so I'm going to give you an odd
exercise here to simulate the control you
need.
Remember when you've been masturbated by an
experienced woman, or imagine being
masturbated by one. Many of us know this
feeling, so we might as well use it.
She moves forward with your arousal - but
then stops or slows down. She doesn't just go
with the usual linear build to a crescendo.
Instead, she takes her time to go in waves,
with each crest a bit higher than the last.
When she finally gets you to orgasm, chances
are it'll be better than the usual.
That's how you want to treat her.
The ladies will thank you for taking the time
to enjoy the moment, instead of simply aiming
for the splat.
Enjoy this knowledge, because not only is it
the key to properly arousing her, but it's
the key to great sex as well. Use it wisely.
If you want to learn more about the keys to
making yourself into the most incredible
lover she's ever had, then you'll want to
check out Seduction Science Volume 3.
Enjoy.
Your Friend,
Derek Vitalio
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