[ The Players Articles ] 10 Confidence Boosters

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While true confidence with women can only come through experience, in order for you to have positive experiences you'll need to be confident. So I've compiled a list of some of my personal favorite confidence boosters that you can look through when you need a short term lift in your spirits. I realize that some of these ideas might not be revolutionary, they can still be extremely useful. So without further ado-

1. Why should she even be with you in the first place?

In order for any woman to want to be in a relationship with you, she has to realize that there are clear benefits for her to be with you. But before you can show her what these are you'll first have to find them for yourself. Think to yourself right now "What do I have to offer a woman?". I can guarantee that no matter how bad you might be feeling about yourself right now, you DO have something to offer her. Just the fact that you've identified the fact that you have a problem in your life (success with women) and taken the steps to solve it (finding this website) means that if nothing else you are a responsible man who doesn't let himself settle for anything less than he deserves. Once you realize that you bring tons of good things to a relationship you'll see that the sort of women that you desire will take notice and want you to share all your positive qualities in their life too.

2. Do you think that everyone else is perfect?

You might read through some of the posts on this site and be tempted to think "Wow, these guys are naturals. I could never be as good as they are." I'm going to tell you right now that this type of thinking is 100% wrong. Every person on this site has either been or is an AFC. If anybody on these forums were born with the ability to pick up amazing women with no effort then why would they have come to this website to begin with? All the people here at one point in their lives decided that they were unhappy with their success with women and needed to look for advice to help them reach the level of skill with women that they desired. The important point to remember is that if they could go from being just an average Joe to pickup artist, then you can too if you're willing to put in the effort. You are entirely responsible for your own successes and failures.

3. Leave your past in the past.

Take all the bad memories and failures you have about women and forget about them. The girls who rejected you last night have no bearing on how the girls you'll meet tomorrow night see you unless you choose to let them. Once you finish reading some posts in the forum for a few minutes and log off the entire game has changed. Now you are for all purposes a new man. You now have a little bit more knowledge and a little bit more experience than you did before, and that tiny bit of new information could end up making all the difference. You are not the man you were five minutes ago. You are not the man you were last night. You are not the AFC you were back before you began learning about becoming a player unless you choose to be. Your past actions only tell you who you were in the past. Your choices now will determine who you will be in the future.

4. Be different just for the hell of it.

Following the crowd is easy. You don't have to make up your own mind if you simply accept the opinions of whatever group you're a part of right now. But why should you try to fit in if you can stand out? Do whatever you want that makes you happy. You'll draw tons of criticism for speaking your mind, but I'll go into critics later and say why you shouldn't let them get you down. The people who are remembered in history books are not the ones who followed conventional wisdom and just went with the flow, but did what they loved, and did it passionately. When Beethoven wrote his greatest works he broke the accepted style of how a symphony should be written, and for it he is remembered as one of the greatest geniuses of all time.

5. Something you can do right now.

Here's something that you can do for an instant boost in confidence. Go find a mirror and look yourself over, pointing out all the positive things you can find about yourself and ignoring all your flaws. Next look yourself straight in the eyes and tell yourself "The best choice any woman could make is to be with me" ten times. Then smile to yourself as you walk out the door to go meet new women (force yourself to grin if you need to; even if it's fake it'll still put you in a better mood than you were in before).

6. Work out some smaller details.

Next time before you go out take a little extra time to make yourself look slightly better than you normally do. Brush your teeth a bit longer, spend a little bit more time shaving yourself or combing your hair or iron your clothes before you put them on. Doing little things like this helps establish in your head that you are going to look a little bit better this evening than normal, and you'll notice that you feel more confident knowing that you're shaved just right and your shoes are nice and clean. It may not seem like a big deal but trust me it does help.

7. Don't worry, everyone has their own flaws and insecurities too.

She's drop-dead gorgeous, wearing clothes that flatter her perfectly and shooting men down left and right. Kind of intimidating right? Well consider this- how long do you think she spent picking out those clothes that flatter her perfectly? How much money do you think she spent getting that perfect haircut or beautiful perfume? Did she get in such great shape and perfect tan just by accident? The honest truth is that she cares about her relationships just as much as you do; she's probably even more worried than you that she'll never land the lover of her dreams, and that he'll find her and pass her up for someone else. She wants to get with you just as much as you want to get with her, and all you really have to do is learn how to present yourself in the sort of way that'll make her realize just how great of a man you are.

8. To the victor go the spoils.

When you do something to improve yourself and your game that you didn't previously think was possible, reward yourself for it. Don't let the fact that you just picked up a HB that you thought you could never get be reward in itself; go out and do something extra for yourself. Do buy some of your favorite food, do something that you've been holding back from doing for a while or post her picture on here so we can all congratulate you on your hard work. The important thing to understand is that you want to reward your successes and forget about your failures once they pass the point that they no longer serve as learning experiences.

9. Something that's a little different but has worked wonders for me.

What do the Player, Mystery and Style all have in common? They've all created identities that are separate from themselves and established that they are seduction gurus. The new identity that they've created can become legendary and seem to be larger than life. So why not follow their lead? Create an alter ego for yourself; give him a cool name, tell yourself that he is a pickup expert and go out and talk to women while you're in the mindset that you are this other person you've created. Before I go out to pick up women I tell myself that I'm no longer Will, I'm Goldilocks. Will is a pretty interesting person but he doesn't get girls; Goldilocks does. Will has only gone on one date and it was horribly lame; Goldilocks hasn't had a bad date yet. Will doesn't ask any girls out but when he does they say no; Goldilocks has several girls he knows right now that are dying to be with him. I use Goldilocks as an excuse to try everything I would otherwise be too afraid to attempt.

10. Realize this and even the harshest critics can't hurt you.

As far as I see it there are two types of criticism- constructive criticism and insults. Constructive criticism tells you that you're doing something wrong and that you should correct it, such as "You're a reckless driver and you need to slow down before you kill someone". It is probably in your best interest to listen to this sort of criticism.

Insults however should be interpreted as complements in disguise. If someone were to tell you "You're a horrible dancer. Why are you even on the floor?" you might be inclined to get offended. However you need to look past the actual words this critic said and see what he actually meant- "You don't know how to dance properly, but you still have to confidence to get out on the floor and enjoy yourself. I'm not anywhere near as secure with myself as you are, so the only way I can make myself feel better is by making your accomplishment seem less than it really is." Now after reading the second statement do you think you should let him get you down and feel like shit for the rest of the night, or should you feel even better about yourself? Nobody bothers to insult someone that they know they're better than, so just by him throwing nasty words at you it is obvious that he sees you as a threat. Hopefully that'll help you ignore any haters out there that might otherwise through you off your game.

Well, there's my ten confidence boosters. They took me quite a while to write up, so I hope they come in handy for someone.

-Goldi

This article was first published on The Seduction University, which is a free message forum for men to share their ideas and views on seduction. The author of this article is a member of the university, and you can be one too. Check it out, you'll find many more articles like this one.

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